Mary Sue, Sue Mary and the Broken Plot Continuum
by Nath
Summary: Mary Sue and Sue Mary finally dared to go to Middle Earth now the original PPC were no longer hunting their kind. A wise decision?!? - Completed (minor edits 30/04/2003)
1. It begins

A/N: This is the first bit of fanfic I ever wrote. I *had* to write it... The plotbunny latched on to my ankle when the Original PPC were thrown off fanfiction.net, and it was either write the story or wait for the bunny to bite off my foot.

Disclaimer:Middle Earth belongs to Tolkien, the Plot Continuum belongs to Jay and Acacia, anything else you recognise belongs to its/their respective creator. 

I suppose I own Mary Sue and Sue Mary. Maybe someone has a use for them; if not, I hear the makers of Soylent Green are always looking for people.

It begins...

School had been the usual misery, and so Mary Sue flung herself at her desk with the same frustration as every other day. She should be doing her homework, but she wanted to read her mail and surf a bit first before she had to concentrate on geography. Who *cared* what the capital of Nigeria was! It wasn't like she'd ever go to India anyway, so she didn't need to know all that stuff. 

"Why, o why isn't it Friday already!", she sighed. She wanted to go to the cinema with her best friend, Sue Mary, and see Lord of the Rings for the 42nd time, and drool at all the actors and dream about being a beautiful Elven princess in Middle Earth.

She couldn't get a connection to the net, so she switched off her laptop and took her schoolbooks out of her bag. She had just opened her geography book at the right chapter when her phone rang. It was her friend, Sue Mary, and she was so excited that Mary Sue couldn't understand what she was going on about. Eventually, Sue Mary calmed down enough that Mary Sue could follow her. By the time Sue Mary had finished talking, Mary Sue was as excited as her friend had been at first. 

"They're *really* gone?" she asked, "really? Oooh, goody! They're, like, soooooo horrible!" So it wasn't going to be a boring evening doing homework after all; tonight they could finally try Sue Mary's plan.

Sue Mary would drop by her house after dinner and bring her stuff. 

"What!" Mary Sue exclaimed, "all those stinky herbs and everything? Please, say you don't need them! I'll never get the smell out of my room, and all that weird witchy stuff of yours isn't real anyway!!"

Sue Mary was squealing with indignation at that comment, and it took Mary Sue at least five minutes to restore her friend's good mood before she hung up the phone and started packing everything she thought she was going to need. After dinner she continued trying on different clothes, unable to make up her mind; besides, it was a better way to pass the time than pacing up and down waiting for Sue Mary to arrive.

By the time her friend finally got there, Mary Sue had tried on every item of clothing she owned at least twice, but she had also made two stacks, one only slightly smaller than the other. 

Sue Mary barged in to the room and seemed to be taken slightly aback by the state of it. "Mary..." she started to say, but Mary Sue interrupted her. "Yes, I know it is too much, but I couldn't choose..." 

Sue Mary sighed and continued her sentence, "...Sue, we don't need to *take* the stuff with us. I *told* you we only need to write about taking it." 

"Yeah, but suppose it doesn't work right? And we don't have enough clothes?" Mary Sue looked at her friend's expression, and decided to drop that line of thought. "Okay, it *is* going to work, and now we don't have to be afraid of those silly Protectors of the Plot Continuum anymore. Ooooooooooooooooooooooh, I'm sooooooo excited about it!!!!!!!!!!"

Sue Mary agreed with her. "Now we can write our story without them coming after us and killing us in some horrible way, like that poor girl who wrote that wonderful story where she was Gandalf's daughter." She shuddered at the thought of being dropped from the top of that tower or being shot full of arrows and fed to that monster in that horrible lake. She had seen the film 43 times by now - twice more than her friend, as she reminded her at every opportunity  - but she was still a bit vague on some of the place names.

"Yeah, and all the others..." Mary Sue agreed. "Why do you think they hate us?"

"Who cares..." Sue Mary shrugged, "they're gone and *cough*Legolas*cough, errr Middle Earth is ours at last! Let's get started." Sue Mary cleared a space on the floor and drew a pentagram. Mary Sue protested that she'd never get the paint off the floor, and what were her parents going to say when they saw it. 

"Just put your rug over it," Sue Mary suggested, "and if you want to do something useful, grind these herbs into a paste." She handed Mary Sue a handful of leaves and things, as well as a pestle and a mortar, while she herself continued with the other preparations.

Half an hour later, the two girls were sitting in the center of the pentagram, green muck smeared over their faces and hands, as well as along the edges of Mary Sue's laptop; around them, a black candle was burning at each point of the pentagram and in a number of locations around the room; Sue Mary would be the first to admit the candles weren't strictly necessary, but they looked really cool and made her feel like she was a real witch.

"Me first," Sue Mary said, and started typing.

Meanwhile, in a continuum at an odd angle to 'reality', an odd creaking and groaning 'noise' filled what might be called the ether, or intra-atomic space - in any case, the place where quantum mechanics work overtime to keep everything together; and hairline fractures started to appear in the plot continuum all over Middle Earth, but especially around Rivendell, since said continuum was already severely weakened there, the result of so many Mary Sues popping up and tearing canon to shreds. By now it had become so bad that the patches had a minimum of three layers of patches on them, and logically this was the first place that anything would give way.

Since Nature abhors a vacuum, something would be bound to turn up and fill the plot holes. It was also logical that the first non-canon continuum to break through would be the strongest one around. 

Naturally, this was also the place that Mary Sue and Sue Mary made their appearance, and as they stepped into Middle Earth something gave way and the plot continuum shuddered and twisted to adjust itself...


	2. Rivendell

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything except some Mary Sues

The plot continuum found a balance, and, for now at least, some form of order and structure was established again.

" ... Bring forth the ring, Frodo."

After he put down the Ring, Frodo stepped back from the pedestal in the center of the circle, at the same time glad to be able to put the burden down and reluctant to have the Ring away from him.

Boromir had just said "It is a gift, a gift to the foes of Mordor...", when a sudden flash of light blinded all at the Council. Mary Sue and Sue Mary stood next to the table with the Ring on it, and looked around. 

"We made it! We are here!", the girls shrilled in chorus, and a number of Elves clasped their hands over their ears in pain at the sharp sound. 

"Ooooooh, look at your dress!" Mary Sue exclaimed looking at Sue Mary, and Sue Mary returned the comment just as loudly. The clothing in question could perhaps best be described by words like 'gown', 'billowy' and 'iridescent'. Both girls now had lush silvery-blond hair which flowed freely to their hips like silken waves, and bright shining violet eyes with specks of emerald green, and they were of course irresistibly beautiful from the delicate tips of their ears to their elegantly shod feet.

When they were finally done admiring each other, they looked around once more and found themselves in a circle of Men, Elves, and Dwarves, many of whom had some kind of weapon in hand. This did not worry the girls at all, for were they not Mary Sue and Sue Mary, to whom nothing bad could ever happen? And strangely enough, they were right.

The people surrounding them all lowered their weapons, and a dark haired Elf stepped forward, a welcoming smile on his face. "Welcome to Rivendell, fair ladies who grace us so unexpectedly with your presence. I am Lord Elrond and if you will tell me your names, I will introduce you to the others in this gathering." 

Sue Mary was as good as struck dumb by seeing her dream Elf (well, one of them, anyway) standing right there in front of her, looking even more gorgeous than he did in the film; so Mary Sue had to speak for both of them. 

"My name is Lharalavantariel, Princess of a land far east of Mirkwood, and my friend is Assansaibrivilieth, Princess of a land just as far to the north of here. We are both powerful Wizardesses and have come to help you to destroy the One Ring, and we will accompany the Fellowship on their quest."

This was the moment another shred of the Plot Continuum turned and fled, screaming inside Elrond's head about plotholes big enough to park the Enterprise in, but as he didn't know what the voice in his head was talking about, he just ignored it. These days, he seemed to be getting quite good at ignoring things that weren't quite right ... 

Elrond told Assansaibrivilieth and Lharalavantariel that he would gladly accept their offer of help, and quickly the others who were to join the Fellowship offered their assistance. Lharalavantariel refused to have Gimli along at first, but when Legolas said he wouldn't go either without the Dwarf, and Assansaibrivilieth kicked her ankle hard, she relented. "Okay then, we can have the horrible ugly thing along, if we must. But he must stay as far away from me as possible!"

Elrond spoke again. "All who are to set forth, it is time to rest now. If you will follow me, ladies, I will show you your rooms for tonight; you will leave at noon tomorrow."

The other members of the Fellowship followed a large part of the way to get to their own rooms, as the girls followed Elrond to theirs, and as soon as he had left them, Lharalavantariel knocked on the door of Assansaibrivilieth's room. 

"Sue Ma..." she started to say, when the other interrupted her, "Don't call me that here! My name is Assansaibrivilieth!"

"Jeez, what's gotten into you! First you land us with that butt-ugly Dwarf, and now I have to call you by some silly name which is way too long to remember!"

"I'll be damned if I let Legolas stay behind just because *you*can't stand the Dwarf; it's easy for you, you fancy Frodo! And it's not my fault you thought up names that were so long!" replied Assansaibrivilieth, "Anyway, you missed the most important as usual... why are Legolas and Gimli sharing a bedroom? And Frodo and Sam too! And Strider had his arm around Boromir!"

Lharalavantariel looked at Assansaibrivilieth in total horror. "Oh no! What went wrong? I thought slash wasn't real?"

"I don't know... but I think we'd better stop writing for tonight and go on tomorrow. Maybe we're too tired to concentrate or something. Close your eyes." Assansaibrivilieth closed her eyes as well, and made a complicated gesture with her right hand, after which she opened her eyes again, and found herself still in a room in Rivendell. "Oh no! We can't get back!" 

Lharalavantariel didn't know whether to be pleased or horrified about this, but she decided to leave Assansaibrivilieth to sort this out on her own. She'd see where she was in the morning, and she really didn't want to be around her friend when she was trying to magick something and it didn't work. She walked out to get back to her own room, and nearly bumped into a servant girl who was carrying two trays of food. When the servant saw that they were both in the same room, she gave them a knowing look and commented that they would fit right in with the Fellowship if they were *that* close to each other. The girl put down the trays and left again, leaving two stunned 'princesses' behind.

Lharalavantariel stomped off to her own room, no longer sure that she wanted to do this. "This isn't how it's supposed to be!" she sobbed into her pillow a bit later.

Meanwhile, the precarious equilibrium of the slashverse started to creak too, as in bedrooms all around Rivendell...

Legolas put his arm around Gimli, or no, it was Aragorn, or Elrond, Glorfindel?...

Frodo and Sam slept like logs in their Elf-sized bed, while Elrond went to bed alone, missing Gil-Galad more than ever, or no, it had been Isildur! what was wrong with him? he wondered as he slept in the warm embrace of Erest... Glorfin... Gandalf? No, he was in bed with Legolas, and everything was as it should be! Or was it? Gimli sighed as he felt Legolas lying beside him, and turning over he put his arm across the two young hobbits; Boromir reciprocated the gesture, only to embrace Strider instead...

Again something gave way, crushing a number of quantum mechanics as it collapsed, and new fractures appeared in the Middle Earth plot continuum and old ones grew larger...

A/N: I wrote this chapter based on the assumption that slash, or at least the *idea* of it is probably the most coherent continuum around after the canon. Before anyone gets me wrong, I have nothing against slash, some of my best bookmarks are slash, but the disintegration of the plot continuum must start somewhere...


	3. It's all in the mind?

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything except these two brats.

Warning: a slight case of nudity. Hey, I finally get to live up to the PG-13!

The next morning, Lharalavantariel knocked on Assansaibrivilieth's door. "I'm hungry," she called, "where is breakfast?"

"Somewhere at the end of the corridor. The maid told me when she brought water. Didn't she tell you?"

"I was asleep when she came in," Lharalavantariel replied, "anyway, did you find out why we can't leave?"

"No", the other girl said, "I couldn't find anything. The spells should work, I did everything right; everything else is working okay. Look at my dress!" Lharalavantariel looked at what Assansaibrivilieth was wearing this morning, and even she was impressed at the sheer magnificence of her friend's sky blue gown.

"Where did you get that? And how are you going to walk in those heels when we leave?" Lharalavantariel asked.

"Just think about it and it will change.... And I will change my clothes again when we leave. Just think about what you want to wear and it will work!", Assansaibrivilieth said.

Lharalavantariel closed her eyes and concentrated. "Did it work?" she asked Assansaibrivilieth, still with her eyes closed.

"Umm, not quite," Assansaibrivilieth hissed as she rapidly pulled her suddenly naked friend into her room from the corridor. 

Lharalavantariel opened her eyes again, and checked to see what had happened. As soon as she realised, she shrieked and looked for something to wrap herself in. She tried tearing down the curtains, but stopped when she noticed that she was now standing in front of the window.

"Eek! What do I do now, Assansaibrivilieth?" she screamed.

"Calm down and think of a dress, quickly!" Assansaibrivilieth replied.

It took some trial and error before Lharalavantariel got it right, and even then she couldn't manage anything as splendid as what her friend was wearing. The first dress she imagined was a very intricate soft green velvet, but it flickered in and out of existence in a very alarming manner, and in the end she had to settle for a rather simple, and had she cared to admit it, very elegant, white dress.

A bit later, the two girls joined the other members of the Fellowship for breakfast on a terrace overlooking the valley. Most of the others seemed to be in an oddly pensive mood, almost as if they were trying to remember something. Gandalf looked strangely embarrassed when Elrond joined them after they had eaten, while Assansaibrivilieth's attempts to catch Legolas' attention came to nothing, as the Elf seemed absorbed by Strider. Lharalavantariel didn't do any better in trying to catch Frodo's eye, as Frodo sat hand in hand with Sam, gazing contentedly out across the valley.

"I could really use a nice hot cup of coffee," Assansaibrivilieth broke the silence. 

"Me too," Lharalavantariel agreed. 

Again, something creaked somewhere in the subatomic dungeons of reality.

The day suddenly grew dark and cold, like an eclipse was taking place, though the sun was shining as bright as ever in the sky. It was almost as if light and warmth were being stopped from reaching Rivendell. 

Shadowy shapes, like black and white ghosts, flitted through the air around the Fellowship; occasionally one kept still long enough for them to see what it was. It appeared that they were all young women, mostly Elves, with the occasional human girl mixed in. Most of them seemed to cluster around either Legolas or Frodo. 

The light grew dimmer still, and the ghostly shapes became more luminous, to the point where they were painful to look at. An eerie wailing filled the air.

Silence. 

Black. 

White. 

Black.

White.

Then the world returned. At first all colour seemed to have been bleached from it, then, like a polaroid photo, colours slowly appeared.

A servant put cups of coffee down on the table in front of Lharalavantariel and Assansaibrivilieth. Lharalavantariel looked at her cup, blinked, looked again, and started, "hey, Sue Ma...."

"Assansaibrivilieth! My name is Assansaibrivilieth. How many times do I have to say it! And yes, I see it too! McDonalds coffee. But how?" 

She tried to think of an explanation, but all she could come up with was that it was because of the spell she had used.

And in a way she was right. The plot hole that had allowed not only coffee, but styrofoam coffee cups as well, to exist in Rivendell was caused by her spell, for the two girls were much more 'in' Middle Earth than most Sues. They were also dangerously aware of being inside the story, and could influence small things, like what they were wearing or the appearance of their direct surroundings. 

At the same time, because the PPC were not repairing the damage caused both by the two and by other Sues, the plot continuum was put under immense strain, and it was only natural and to be expected that it would collapse. 

However, being Sue Mary, she put the coffee down as just a cool side effect of her spell, and didn't worry about it.

"Hey guys! Isn't it time we got going?" Lharalavantariel exclaimed, "or do you want to wait for nightfall to set off? Daylight's wasting!"

Soon after, all eleven members of the Fellowship were ready to go, and after saying their goodbyes to Elrond, they began their journey. 

[A/N: I nearly couldn't get the phrase 'all ^eleven^ members of the Fellowship' typed; I think I need to lie down in a dark room now.]


	4. This wasn't in the film?

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except Mary Sue and Sue Mary, but would *you* admit that?). One phrase has been borrowed from Cassandra Claire's wonderful Very Secret Diaries, in addition to what I borrowed from Tolkien and other sources.

Outside Rivendell the plot continuum wasn't as weakened by Sues popping up all over the place, though shockwaves were rippling out from Rivendell and other badly affected places, such as Lothlorien; and these waves disrupted both the plot continuum and the two girls' attempts to make the story go their way. 

The film continuum by now could no longer stabilise itself using just the slash continuum - for that is itself by its nature ever-changing and ultimately inconsistent - so it reached out further afield, looking for something to shore itself up with. It found, tested and discarded a number of options, and in the end it found something that would serve for a while at least.

Of course, the two girls hadn't changed their clothes when they set out. Surprisingly, it took only a couple of hours scrambling over rocks to change their minds about what they thought was suitable clothing for walking, and to concede that even magical Elven princesses would do a lot better walking over rough terrain in a tunic, trousers and sensible shoes than in elegantly draped dresses and high heels. 

They were quite upset when Gandalf decided that they would travel at night and rest during the day, but now that they had left plothole-ridden Rivendell, their power to affect the story was not sufficient to change everything to their liking.

At the end of their second night's march Lharalavantariel announced she was sick of cold food and began making a fire using her magical powers. She was upset when Aragorn kicked it out, and after he pointed out to her rather sharply and at some length that the 'no fire' rule was meant for *all* the company, she was close to tears. 

Lharalavantariel sat down disconsolately in a corner of the area they had picked to shelter in, sulking. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! She sat gazing at Frodo for a while, distracting herself from her misery by concentrating on those impossibly blue eyes. So deep in thought was she that she didn't notice Boromir bringing her something to eat until he sat down next to her. 

"Whatever it is you're thinking, lady, you'd best forget it. Sam will kill you if you try anything," he said. She looked up, startled by his approach, and suddenly noticed that he wasn't at all bad-looking.

"But, but, but I wasn't thinking anything," she could just about stammer. 

…

Meanwhile, Assansaibrivilieth had wandered off, surreptitiously following Legolas, who had drawn the first shift of guard duty that day. She had managed to remain unnoticed, and sat quietly observing him from across a clearing, brooding on a way to bend the story to her will and get him to take notice of her. Suddenly a rather feral smile moved across her face and she started sneaking around the clearing as quietly as she could, drawing her sword as she set off. On the other side, she was surprised to find that Legolas was nowhere in sight.

"Surely I was quiet enough to sneak up on him and surprise him like Arwen did with Strider in the film... " she wondered. Then she heard a rustling noise behind her and she whirled around. The low branches of the trees behind her were moving as if someone was hidden there.

"Aha!" she said and rushed in to find ... nothing.

Again, something moved further on. Again, there was nothing to see. This went on for a while, until Assansaibrivilieth realised she was back on the other side of the clearing.

"Very funny!" she called out, "I give up. Now will you please show yourself, Legolas?"

It wasn't until an arrow struck the ground in front of her, that she thought to look up, and found the Prince of Mirkwood standing on a tree branch. He jumped down lightly, and all thought fled Assansaibrivilieth's mind as she looked upon her main object of desire so close up.

"You'd better get back to the camp and get some rest," Legolas said, adding that her woodcraft needed a lot of work if she didn't even think to look for a wood elf in a tree, and that she was as noisy as a dwarf. This accusation caused Assansaibrivilieth to glare at the Prince rather viciously and she stomped off back to the camp in a huff, torn between anger and frustration. 

"Like, what is going wrong?" she thought, "We can't control the plot, everything is different from the film, Legolas didn't even look at me, they're all *gay* and we can't even leave any more."

Her mood hadn't improved any by the time she got back to the camp, and she sat quietly for a while before she fell asleep. Lharalavantariel was already fast asleep, a rather pleased expression on her face; Assansaibrivilieth wondered if she had perhaps got anywhere with Frodo; but no, he was sleeping on the other side of the site, arms around Sam. "Strange,' she said to herself, and went to sleep as well.

After this, their journey settled into a routine; they walked during the night, they rested during the day, Lharalavantariel became more involved with Boromir, and Assansaibrivilieth became more upset and angry. This went on for about a week, until Assansaibrivilieth had had enough. She had first watch that day, and she was tired and footsore and bored with walking, so she called Lharalavantariel aside, while everybody else tried to get some sleep after a particularly hard night's travelling.

"Can't it wait, Su.." Lharalavantariel started, then saw her friend's expression and corrected herself, "Assansaibrivilieth? I'm tired, and I want to sleep!"

"What do you think you're doing with Boromir?" she asked, "Don't you remember he's gonna die?" 

"Yes, I know!" Lharalavantariel answered, "I know! But we can change that! That's why we're here!!! Right?"

"It isn't that easy," replied Assansaibrivilieth, "you *know* things aren't right. We're taking way too long to get to that mountain - whatsitcalled; and Frodo is all over Sam all the time, and Legolas won't even look at me; he only sees that stupid Dwarf! And now you are getting all friendly with Boromir. What do you want me to do now Legolas doesn't even see me? Seduce Gandalf?" She shuddered at the idea, and Lharalavantariel shivered in sympathy, or perhaps it was just because of the cold weather.

"If we try again, maybe we can get control again, and make things go right," Lharalavantariel replied. Assansaibrivilieth agreed, and forgetting she was supposed to guard the camp, she wandered out of sight of the site with Lharalavantariel and they sat there for a while, their heads close together. This time, they managed to get the attention of the continuum long enough to get what they wanted and when they were done, they looked in satisfaction at the mountains which now were a lot closer.

"Remember the plan," Assansaibrivilieth whispered to Lharalavantariel before they went to sleep. Lharalavantariel nodded sleepy agreement before she fell asleep. She couldn't enjoy her rest for very long, as she woke up to find Gandalf shaking Assansaibrivilieth to wake her up; the angry expression on his face made her decide to keep her eyes closed and pretend to sleep. Apparently, he was upset about Assansaibrivilieth going to sleep and forgetting to wake him to take his watch. 

"Silly," she thought, "we're safe here; it isn't as if there are wolves or anything horrid like that around here." She did however have enough of a survival instinct not to speak up in defence of her friend, and kept up her pretense of sleep even after Gandalf had finished telling Assansaibrivilieth what he thought of her lapse.

Apparently, none of the others had noticed anything out of the ordinary about being much closer to the mountains than they had been in the morning, and they continued the journey much as before.

The next days passed without incident. They noticed several flights of crows, but these all passed far off to the north, and the girls grew more confident that they were back in control of events.

Then, one evening, just as they were about to set out, while Lharalavantariel reluctantly untangled herself from Boromir's arms and Assansaibrivilieth went over what was supposed to happen next, the silence was disturbed by howling in the distance  

Unfortunately, no one was listening …


	5. Things start to fall apart

Title: Things start to fall apart, the center cannot hold.

Disclaimer: all I own is these two Sues. The odd phrase has been lifted from LotR. No, I'll rephrase that: the well-written phrases have been lifted from LotR. The odd ones are all mine.

A/N: I compounded the offence of reasonable grammar and spelling, which was commented on by one reviewer, by checking, correcting and reloading chapter 4. I apologise for the mini-balrog in this chapter; it was created on purpose. I also apologise for the cardboard cutouts, as far as characterisation is concerned, of the Fellowship that Mary Sue and Sue Mary seem to be travelling with.

The conflicting continua continued to strive for balance, and things kept changing.

Mostly, the plot continuum, or what was left of it, managed to retain a fragile balance, but the efforts of Lharalavantariel and Assansaibrivilieth to regain control of the story were starting to affect the combined film/book/slashverse continuum. Tension on the fabric of the continuum grew, and the effects were rippling through Middle-Earth like waves. 

There are some things that even an ancient ball of rock that can survive a fire or being dropped from Orthanc can't take, and reality snapping in and out of focus all the time is one of them.

Saruman's Palantir cracked as he tried to wrest control of the Stone from Sauron. Denethor watched in horror as his Palantir turned translucent and shattered. Sauron's Palantir remained whole, but would only show the common room of the Barad-dur guards - not a pretty place by any account. 

In plothole-torn Rivendell a golden-haired Elf walked back from the stables, and wondered what was going on. *Why* was Arwen's saddle in Asfaloth's stable? 

Far to the south, a Haradrim tribe renounced Sauron, proclaimed that they were in favour of world peace and turned to cultivating pink roses. This was all rather pointless, as they were slaughtered by four neighbouring tribes within a month. The climate wouldn't have been right for roses anyway.

Somewhere far east of Mirkwood, a herd of pale blue unicorns fled when a dragon flew overhead.

Deep under Isengard, Lurtz and his Uruk-Hai popped out of existence as if they had never been. Ugluk paced up and down, snarling, awaiting Saruman's orders. He suspected they would be even less pleasant than usual, judging from the enraged sounds coming from the wizard's rooms.

Many things happened in many places, and still the ripples of instability continued to move through Middle Earth.

The group stood around, discussing the road ahead and arguing about how they should continue. Strider apparently wanted to try that mountain Assansaibrivilieth could never remember the name of, Boromir wanted to go south, Gimli wanted to say something, but couldn't get a word in, the Hobbits and Legolas kept quiet, and Gandalf was arguing for Moria. Assansaibrivilieth decided she *really* ought to take charge of the story here, as neither she nor Lharalavantariel fancied dragging themselves up and down that silly mountain for nothing, even if the snowy background would make them look stunningly pretty in their furlined cloaks. Lharalavantariel also hoped that, if they changed the story enough, she could keep Boromir alive.

"Gentlemen! Enough! The night isn't getting any younger, and we shouldn't stand aroung arguing when it's obvious where we should go," Assansaibrivilieth announced, though she wasn't pleased about having to agree with Gandalf, as she still hadn't forgiven him for that scolding over her sleeping while on guard. The others looked at her, waiting for an explanation. 

"Moria, of course!" she continued. "Isn't it obvious? If we go over that mountain, we'll be visible to Saruman's spies all the way across... we should go through Moria, it's much safer." Gandalf appeared surprised at her support for his suggestion, and it was clear Strider didn't agree, though he didn't say anything. 

"Very well, then," Gandalf said, "we will go through Moria. We will rest here tonight and travel on tomorrow morning."

Frodo looked annoyed, almost as if he had expected to be consulted in the decision.

The plan for the next day made, all fell into silent thought, and listened to the wind hissing among the rocks and trees, and there was a howling and wailing round them in the empty spaces of the night.

Assansaibrivilieth suddenly remembered from reading The Hobbit many years before, that there actually were wolves in Middle Earth, and that they were pretty nasty animals.

 "Oh, no! Wolves!" she screamed. Strider had leapt to his feet. 

"The Wargs have come west of the Mountains," he cried.

"We cannot travel in the dark; we must defend ourselves in this place," Gandalf said. 

They made a fire in the middle of a circle of stones on the top of the small hill on which they had been sheltering. Those that were not on guard dozed uneasily.

Lharalavantariel was near to panic, while Assansaibrivilieth seemed to be looking forward to a fight.

"What's up with you?" Lharalavantariel asked her friend. "It's all going wrong, this wasn't in the film, we're going to die horribly, and you stand there grinning like a complete moron, because you want to show off how good you are to we-both-know-who!"

"You should talk, Miss Ooh-Borimor-my-feet-are-sore!" Assansaibrivilieth snapped back at her. "And it's not like anything really bad can happen to us anyway!" 

"Oh, why not?" Lharalavantariel replied.

"Because we're Mary Sue and Sue Mary and nothing bad can happen to us here, certainly not now those horrible PPCers have gone for good! And I put some extra protection in that spell I did as well, so we're really safe here. Honest." Assansaibrivilieth reassured Lharalavantariel.

"Oh, okay then," a somewhat calmer Lharalavantariel agreed, "but where did the wolves come from then?"

Assansaibrivilieth ignored this last question, partly because she didn't know the answer, and partly because suddenly the howling of the wolves was all around them, and many shining eyes were seen peering over the brow of the hill. 

Lharalavantariel backed away as close to the fire as she could get without setting her skirt on fire. Assansaibrivilieth, on the other hand, stood waiting for something to happen, when a wolf-shape appeared in a gap in the circle, gazing at them. Just as Gandalf was about to stand up, Assansaibrivilieth raised her hands and shot a fireball at the wolf, which jumped back, easily evading her aim. The wolf howled and it suddenly grew quiet, as if the pack had disappeared.

The night passed without further incident, and they set off for Moria the next morning, on their guard in case the wolves came back. Gandalf urged them to hurry, pointing out that the wolves were most likely still around.

"We must reach the doors before sunset," he said, "or I fear we shall not reach them at all if the wolves return."

The girls looked at each other at these words; Assansaibrivilieth motioned Lharalavantariel to follow her.

"We'd better be certain the wolves aren't coming back," Assansaibrivilieth said. "We must do the same as when we moved us closer to the mountains before." Lharalavantariel couldn't agree more, and they concentrated on bending the story their way.

Again, they were successful, but their intervention created yet another plothole, destabilising the continuum even further.

They moved at a brisk pace, the two girls struggling to keep up on the rough terrain. It took them most of the day to reach the lake in front of the gates and it was already growing dark when they made their way around it.

While Gandalf and the others concentrated on finding and opening the doors, Lharalavantariel pulled Assansaibrivilieth aside.

"Can we open that door already? I don't want to wait for that monster. Who knows what wi.... Hey," she suddenly changed the topic, "we *forgot* to bring the *pony*!! Assansaibrivilieth, come back!" 

As soon as Lharalavantariel had mentioned the word 'door', Assansaibrivilieth had run off to the group at the entrance. "Hey, it's easy!" she exclaimed, "the word is 'mellon'."

The gates reacted as they were supposed to. Slowly, they opened, and a great stair leading into darkness opened before the Fellowship. Anxious to not meet that horrid giant octopus up close, Lharalavantariel and Assansaibrivilieth were the first to rush in, and they were followed rather more reluctantly by the rest of the company.

While Lharalavantariel asked Gandalf how they were going to close the gates from the inside, Assansaibrivilieth was throwing rocks into the lake from just inside, irritated that they'd forgotten to bring the cute pony and that Lharalavantarielwas asking that stupid old wizard for advice, rather than her. She was told to stop by Frodo, and did so reluctantly.

The harm had already been done though, and suddenly a tentacle lashed out from the water, grabbing Frodo and starting to drag him into the water. Sam, who was closest, was slashing at the tentacle with a knife, and as the arm let go of Frodo, they ran up the stairs as quickly as they could. Behind them, Lharalavantariel's question about the door was answered, as about twenty tentacles grabbed hold of the doors and slammed them shut.


	6. The world in pieces

Title: The world in pieces

Disclaimer: ummm, I don't own any of it; 'kay? Except two brats:(

In Rivendell, the continuum had as good as collapsed, and people were afraid to walk around after a number of disappearances where someone walked into a plothole. Elladan was attacked and killed by a group of Uruk-Hai that wandered through a plothole into the Hall of Fire. Elrohir disappeared when he went after the Orcs to avenge his brother and the plothole closed behind him. 

Returning from patrolling the borders of Rivendell, Glorfindel reported that there was *nothing* on the other side of the Ford of Bruinen, just a grey emptiness. Soon the emptiness started to spread, and the valley was cut off from the rest of Middle-Earth. Occasionally, Mary Sues travelling in to Middle-Earth would appear, only to pop out of existence as soon as they arrived, almost as if the shredded remains of the continuum were making a final stand against the disruptions.

Many of the more remote parts of the world had become slightly translucent or covered in a haze that was only visible from the corner of one's eye, and people everywhere noticed that the sun would take on a strange colour or be the wrong size. The Shire experienced five eclipses in one day, yet in Bree nothing out of the ordinary was observed. In Rohan, the full moon stood in the same place in the sky for three nights in succession, while in Gondor the moon went from first to last quarter twice in one night.

Tom Bombadil was merrily hopping and skipping along the banks of the Withywindle, when the ground beneath him turned to quicksand and swallowed him up. Goldberry found herself besieged by willow trees that were encroaching on her garden.

The first ripples of disturbance had by now reached the Straight Road to Valinor, and a cold wind blew along the shores of Tol Eressëa and on to Aman itself, where it touched the Doors of Night and chilled the heart of Earendil in foreboding.

At the borders of Lothlorien, guards reported strange thorny vines suddenly appearing and wrapping themselves around trees, choking all life from them, spreading rapidly and attacking any Elf that came within reach. In the end, when the vines appeared in Caras Galadhon, Galadriel had to call upon the power of her Ring to defeat the attack. Of course, the moment she put it on, Sauron became aware of it, and a rather larger army than he had had in mind originally moved towards Lothlorien - sooner than had been intended as well.

In Moria, the Fellowship was blissfully unaware of what was happening to their world.

They walked on for most of the night, resting only rarely, with the two girls finding it harder and harder to keep up in the oppressive darkness that was only relieved by the faint light from Gandalf's staff. When they finally stopped the girls were too tired to even complain when Gandalf lit his pipe. 

Lharalavantariel walked over to the edge of a hole in the middle of the room, curious what it might be. It appeared to have been a well or something, as there were some rusty old chains lying around, trailing down into the hole. It wasn't as interesting as she had hoped and she started throwing in loose stones. The sound of the first stone falling into water far below echoed through the chamber.

"What's that?" cried Gandalf. Lharalavantariel confessed her action, hoping Gandalf would take it lightly; after all, it wasn't as if she dropped a skeleton down that hole or something. She wasn't that lucky though, and after he was through telling her that they were on a serious journey, not a walking party for bored Elves, she was reduced to a quivering heap of tears. Even Boromir ignored her, so she sat down in a corner away from the others, snarling at Assansaibrivilieth to leave her alone when the other girl came over to talk to her.

Suddenly a faint knocking sound echoed from the depths, stopped and was repeated. It sounded almost like some sort of signal, but after a while the knocking died away and was not heard again.

Assansaibrivilieth looked alarmed. "What was that?" she asked.

"It sounded like a hammer," Gandalf said, "and I do not like it. It may have had nothing to do with Lharalavantariel's foolish stone; but probably something has been disturbed that would have been better left quiet. I would give Lharalavantariel first watch, in the hope that she might learn something about actions and consequences, but I fear she might fall asleep. I will take the watch myself."

Assansaibrivilieth glared at Gandalf at this reference to her earlier dereliction of duty, but he either ignored it or wasn't aware of it. Meanwhile, Pippin had walked over to Lharalavantariel, putting a companiable arm around her shoulder.

"Hey, it's not that bad. I could have done something like that too; I probably would have thrown a stone in myself, if you hadn't done it first," he told her. By now Lharalavantariel had calmed down a bit, and she smiled at the hobbit. 

"I'm okay now," she answered. "And Gandalf was probably right; it was a dumb thing to do. But he still doesn't have to be that nasty about it! Thank you for coming over to talk to me. You'd better get some sleep. I have a feeling we'll be moving early again tomorrow." 

Pippin nodded and walked off. Following her own advice, Lharalavantariel managed to fall asleep. It turned out she had been right and they travelled on after only a few hours of sleep. To Lharalavantariel's great relief, Boromir no longer was angry with her for her silly behaviour the previous night.

Assansaibrivilieth was a bit surprised when Gandalf picked the right hand passage, as she thought she recognised where they were from the film, even if that wretched well hadn't been there, and she had been expecting him to go left. By now though, in a way she was expecting this kind of change, and she also knew better than to disagree with Gandalf, so she managed to keep her mouth shut.

The day passed rather uneventfully, except for the girls' complaints about their sore feet and the difficult path. That night they slept in an enormous hall, huddled together in a corner.

The next morning they again moved on straight after breakfast. Entering a dusty chamber, Assansaibrivilieth noticed a tomb in the middle. She nudged Lharalavantariel and pulled her aside.

"You know what's going to happen next, right?" she asked. 

Lharalavantariel nodded agreement and asked "Do you think we should try if we can skip this bit too?" Assansaibrivilieth thought this was a good idea, and the girls tried to influence the continuum enough to skip the fight they knew was coming. However, nothing happened. 

"Not good," Assansaibrivilieth muttered, "maybe we should try for a smaller change, like decent running shoes?" They tried again, and again they totally failed to achieve their aim. 

Lharalavantariel looked at what the others were doing. "Can't they get over some dead dwarf already!" she whispered to Assansaibrivilieth, when she saw they were still standing round the tomb. "We should get out of here before we're attacked."

"I know," Assansaibrivilieth whispered back, "but I don't think it's going to work... We'd better get ready to throw some fireballs or something. At least we know what is coming. We've, like, seen this about 40 times already, so it's not like those wolves that came from nowhere."

Lharalavantariel agreed, and the two moved back towards the others, who were still trying to read that dusty old book that they had found. Gandalf had just finished deciphering the last page, and the words "we cannot get out' had just been spoken when suddenly a great noise, as of a vast drum, came, seeming to come from far below. The girls looked at each other in alarm, while the others moved to bar the doors as best they could. 

To the girls' surprise the fight was much shorter than they remembered from the film and they weren't really upset about not getting to see a troll in close-up; however, they didn't hesitate when Gandalf told them all to run. They ran along blindly down some stairs following the others, until they stopped to wait for Gandalf who had stayed behind to close the door or something. 

Suddenly, at the top of the stair a bright light appeared and Gandalf came flying down the stairs, falling to the ground in the middle of the group. As soon as he got up again, he told them to move and keep going. They moved as fast as they could in the dark for about an hour, until Gandalf stopped to rest briefly.

As they went on again, Gimli, who had keen eyes in the dark said he saw a faint reddish light ahead, and Gandalf wondered whether the road ahead of them was on fire. Soon the light became unmistakable, and visible to all. They could now also see where they were going. Ahead there was a low archway. After Gandalf had gone through to take a look, the others looked as well. Lharalavantariel gasped. This was the hallway with the pillars she remembered from the film. But it was in the wrong place!


	7. It's the end of the world

Title: "It's the end of the world (and I feel fine)."

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even the title of this chapter. This chapter once again borrows a lot from the book. No doubt the reader will recognise those parts.

The grey emptiness that surrounded Rivendell deepened in colour until it was the black of the empty Void. Tendrils of nothing drifted out from it, leeching the colour out of everything they touched. Slowly the blackness moved in ever closer and closer, until at the last the few survivors were surrounded in the Hall of Fire. Elrond had seen no other choice than to put on Vilya when the incursion began, but even the power of the Ring wasn't enough to do more than temporarily slow the advance of the darkness. 

The slight haze that had covered many parts of the world now started to turn into patches of grey that grew and flowed together, the grey turning to black, erasing what lay under it. 

The sun appeared weakened, and a weak reddish light heralded the dawn.

The patches of nothingness were also spreading to the Straight Road and beyond, and began to eat away at Tol Eressëa and Valinor, while the first thin tongues of nothing licked around the Doors of Night. 

Deep in the Void, an entity noticed the first change ever to occur in its long imprisonment, and Morgoth Bauglir moved closer towards the Doors - if words such as 'close' or 'far' have any meaning in the Void - wondering what this meant.

Meanwhile, in Moria....

Both Gandalf and Frodo felt a pressing sense of warning. Frodo gasped when he put his hand on the One Ring, for it was burning hot to the touch. "Gandalf!" he exclaimed, "the Ring...."

"Do not touch it!" Gandalf warned, "something is very wrong. But at least I know now where we are: we have reached the level immediately below the Gates. This is the Second Hall of Old Moria; and the Gates are near: away beyond the eastern end, on the left, not more than a quarter of a mile. Across the Bridge, up a broad stair, along a wide road through the First Hall, and out! Come now! There is no time to lose. "

Behind them they again heard the pursuing drum-beat echoing in the halls and passages behind them. Gandalf told them to follow him and run. Assansaibrivilieth rapidly kicked off her shoes, knowing she could never keep up on the smooth floor of the hall otherwise. Lharalavantariel followed her lead, and this way the two girls managed to keep up with the others. Assansaibrivilieth even managed to outpace the hobbits; Lharalavantariel struggled a bit, but Boromir kept back and encouraged her.

When they were somewhat more than halfway across the hall they heard orcs cry out behind them, and the sound of many pursuing feet. An arrow whistled by.

"Look ahead!" called Gandalf. "The Bridge is near. It is dangerous and narrow."

Suddenly they saw a black chasm before them. A slender bridge of stone without kerb or rail spanned the chasm with one curving spring of fifty feet. They would only be able to pass across it in single file. At the brink Gandalf halted and the others came up in a pack behind.

"Lead the way, Gimli!" he said. "Pippin and Merry next. Straight on and up the stair beyond the door!" More arrows fell among them. Assansaibrivilieth stood frozen, staring wide-eyed at the gaping chasm before her.

"I can't do this," she whispered to Lharalavantariel, "You know I'm scared of heights."

"Come on! You must!" Lharalavantariel tried to encourage her friend, "the others are across already. It's just us, Boromir and Gandalf now. Come, look straight ahead and walk on. I'll be right behind you. It'll be okay. Honest. Now go. Please."

Assansaibrivilieth was persuaded to step on to the bridge, and with Lharalavantariel right behind her she moved along to the other side slowly. They were still being fired at, but Assansaibrivilieth was so focused on the bridge that she didn't even notice the arrows falling around her. Just as they reached the other side, an arrow struck Lharalavantariel in the leg, and she cried out and stumbled, but was caught by Legolas before she could lose her footing and fall off the bridge. A month ago she would have given her right arm for such close proximity to one of her idols, but now she barely noticed it. She looked back to Boromir and Gandalf on the other side of the bridge, and just as they were about to step on to the bridge the Balrog appeared. She wanted to cry out a warning, but found herself frozen with fear. Assansaibrivilieth wasn't doing any better, so they stood and could only look as the Balrog advanced on their companions.

At this exact moment, far away beyond the Circles of the World, a tendril of nothing, thinner than the finest hair, pierced the Doors of Night, and touched the Void. A shudder tore through the continuum, and Time seemed to freeze for an instant.

Frodo cried out as a brief touch of cold, far colder than the knife of the Nazgul, shot through the old wound in his shoulder. 

Legolas' bow dropped from his fingers as he felt he knew not what. Everywhere, elves shivered as they felt a dark touch on the world.

In Rivendell, the last defenders faltered briefly as they felt the disruption to the world; the darkness that was around them pressed down harder on them and won through; a wordless cry of anguish was felt by Gandalf and Galadriel through the link of their Rings, as the fëa of the bearer of Vilya was extinguished in the dark emptiness of the Void.

The passing of Elrond shook Gandalf from his frozen stance, and the wizard quickly moved back to the bridge, staff in his left hand, sword in his right. The Balrog recovered rapidly from the shock of feeling its master's touch on the world once again, and leapt at the first target it could reach.

Lharalavantariel watched in frozen shock as the demon lashed its fiery whip at Boromir, and cut him down with its sword of flame.

Having defeated the lesser opponent, the Balrog moved quickly in pursuit of Gandalf, but as it set foot on the bridge, Gandalf lifted his staff, and crying aloud he smote the bridge before him. The staff broke and fell from his hand. A white flame sprang up. The bridge cracked. Right at the Balrog's feet it broke, and the stone upon which it stood crashed into the gulf, while the rest of the bridge remained standing. With a terrible cry the Balrog fell forward, and its shadow plunged down and vanished. 

Darkness fell. The Company stood rooted staring into the pit. Even as Gandalf came running back, the rest of the bridge cracked and fell. With a cry he roused them.

"Come! We must get out!" he called. "Follow me!"

They stumbled wildly up the great stairs beyond the door. Gandalf leading, Aragorn at the rear. At the top was a wide passage. Along this they fled. Lharalavantariel barely knew where she was going, and only kept moving because Assansaibrivilieth was pushing her on.

They did not halt until they were out of reach of bowshot from the walls. It was one hour after noon, though the light of the sun was so dim, it was difficult to tell where it stood in the sky. As they halted, they looked around and noticed a strange thick fog in many places, but the way east was still clear.

Gandalf and Aragorn stood together apart from the rest, talking softly and casting worried glances at the strange fog.

"We must travel on. The orcs may still pursue us. Later we may have time to mourn our fallen companion," Gandalf said. 

The Fellowship walked on, lost in thought. Assansaibrivilieth did all she could do to get a response out of Lharalavantariel, but her friend was as one sleepwalking. The strange patches of foggy darkness were ever pressing nearer and growing darker. Gandalf and Frodo still felt a warning of distant danger.

They walked on for the rest of the day, mostly in silence. Gandalf appeared to be in a hurry and let them take no more than the shortest breaks. Finally, after several hours, they came to a river that Legolas said was called Nimrodel. Legolas quickly waded across and urged the others on to follow him. One by one they climbed down and followed Legolas. When all the Company had crossed, they sat and rested and ate a little; and Legolas told them tales of Lothlórien. There was less of the strange grey fog on this side of the river, and briefly the world seemed a lighter place again.

Suddenly Legolas fell silent and Gandalf jumped up, looking towards the West, a look of utter dismay on his face. 

Far beyond the confines of Arda, two great doors were torn asunder, and a cloud of black nothing burst out, catching Eärendil as he steered Vingilot up to the sky to start his nightly passage. As the ship spiralled down, Morgoth stepped through the Doors of Night, and he tore the Silmaril from Eärendil's brow. Holding the jewel aloft triumphantly, he called out to his servants of old, and in the deep places of the world long-forgotten dragons and Balrogs awoke. The world shuddered in its foundations.

"Quick! Into Lórien!" Gandalf cried out, "Run!" The Fellowship needed little urging and they ran deeper into the forest. Lharalavantariel and Assansaibrivilieth couldn't keep up after a while and as they ran into a clearing surrounded by trees, the two girls stopped to catch their breath. From the corner of her eye Lharalavantariel caught a movement at the edge of the forest. She looked up to see what it was.

"Oh, no," she whispered and fainted. Assansaibrivilieth looked and saw that they were surrounded by a group of at least 20 people, all armed to the teeth, and perhaps even more worrying, all wore a badge with a cactus emblem... One, dressed in Sith-robes and exuding an air of menace even deeper than the others, was standing slightly aside, loosely tossing and catching a knife.

Then, two of the figures stepped forward, aiming rather vicious-looking longbows at the two girls.

One spoke. "Assansaibrivilieth, Lharalavantariel. We hereby charge you with disrupting the canon, with .....

FADE TO BLACK THE END 

A/N: Oops, I think I just left the PPC to deal with Dagor Dagorath.... I guess this is *the* time to find out if everything actually does revert back to the way it should be once the Sues are removed from the plot continuum.

I'm afraid the story got away from me a bit. 

I didn't *mean* to end the world, honest. 


End file.
